The "Self-Image Triad"

In Keirsey’s work, he tackles a really neat thing that I call “the self-image triad". Its been a remarkable tool and a really neat look at what I consider to be some of the primary motivators for behavior.

This concept has evolved to form the central theme for much of what I do with this theory, and is something that I think totally sets Personality Mechanics apart from any of the other Jungian and MBTI variants out there. The way I like to describe this concept for people is as follows;

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Image you have a three-legged stool. The seat of this stool represents “Self-Image”. One of our prime directives is going to be to maintain a positive self-image at all times and at all costs. That means, this seat must be secure. It must be a firm place for us to plant our butts down and feel confident that we are free to engage our surroundings. If the seat is secure, there’s no worry about tipping over, but instead I am able to send 100% of my mental and emotional energy outward into my environment. I am free to “be” when firmly planted upon the seat of self-image.

This seat is supported by three legs, with each leg responsible for a very important component of that self-image. They are; Self-Esteem, Self-Respect and Self-Confidence.

As long as each of these are present, strong, and functional, then your seat remains secure.

It will be required in the near future to clearly define what is meant by “self-esteem” for example, as there are many working definitions out there, and they don’t all exactly line up with each other, but for now we are asserting that the three legs are separate and distinct from each other, and that they all contribute to the support of the overall self-image.

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Now, Imagine yourself sitting at a table on this stool, enjoying the company and comradery of friends and family. The legs are all securely planted on the ground and the seat is comfortable. Virtually none of your energy is spent worrying about the stool. Instead, you are free to laugh, engage and have a good time.

Now let’s say I come along and I shave one of the legs of this stool a little short. Lets say I cut an inch off of the Self-Esteem leg. What happens? I have introduced a wobble. Suddenly the seat isn’t as secure as it once was. Suddenly you’ve got to divert some of that external energy, down into maintaining more balance. Where 100% of your energy was in the moment with friends and family, now a portion of that energy is worried about not tipping over.

What happens if I remove one of the legs entirely?

Now you’ve really got a problem, and will have to shift all of your weight on to the remaining two legs. This is no easy task! Not only do the remaining two legs endure much greater strain and stress, but its pretty stinking hard to balance on two legs. For most of us, it will require nearly all of our attention.

If I remove a second leg, and leave you to balance on the remaining leg, there’s not a chance you’ll be able to do much else.

But again, the goal here, the prime directive, is to stay upright at all costs. We must maintain a positive self image. Failure to do so results in a free-fall and its not a pretty sight. It’s destructive and catastrophic for most of us. So, we are left using 100% of our energy and focus on maintaining this balance.

Keirsey talked about how these three legs sort of “hang together”, which is true. When one leg is shortened or removed, the other two legs bear the stress of maintaining that self-image. There are also some predictable negative behaviors that emerge when this happens, that we will get into later.

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Now, this Self-Image Triad model is universal, regardless of what type you are. Each of us has a Self-Esteem, Self-Respect and Self-Confidence leg that is responsible for holding up our overall Self-Image.

The difference, and its an important one, is in how those legs are each strengthened, depending on which type you are.

The Concrete Cooperator, for example, derives a sense of self-esteem from a different place than does the Abstract Utilitarian. Both need that self esteem, and both look to fill it from the same sort of sources, but exactly what does the trick is different, and we will cover those differences next.